Thank you zombie boyfriends. So I think I’m being attacked by zombies and I start screaming, ‘Do you wanna make out?’ And I make out with it. Gene, you saved us. I owe you my life. Everyone touched each other’s butts, and it was great.

This is such a snore-gasm. Do you think horses get songs stuck in their heads? I don’t know. Eating lobster? It goes against everything we were taught to believe. Butts. Tina reached towards Jimmy Junior’s butt: ‘Your lips say no but your butt says yes.’ Everyone touched each other’s butts, and it was great.

Explore the morgue? I can’t tell where your back ends and your butt begins. Give them ridiculous French accents. I’m a smart, strong, sensual woman. You won’t regret it, dad. When I kiss Jimmy Jr. under the disco ball, it’ll be like we’re all kissing Jimmy Jr under the disco ball. Drop the towel.

I thought I saw a baby bump. There is one place I like to go. The boys’ locker room. You can only see up to their ankles. I thought I saw a baby bump. If I drunk text you and you’re asleep, don’t text me in the morning…that ship has sailed. I don’t know. Eating lobster? It goes against everything we were taught to believe. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

This is where I thrash. Please don’t tell Mom and Dad. Gene, you saved us. I owe you my life. uhhhhhhh I know how the shark thinks. It’s confused. It doesn’t know why we want to kill it. It just wants to go home. There’s someone behind the milk. Maybe it’s the dairy fairy.

And I’m gonna read it to the whole school myself. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Sausage leather belts. And I’m gonna read it to the whole school myself. I didn’t know our county was bi. Good for us. The second time hurt the most.